Symptoms in Women and Girls with ADHD. (part 1)

There are of course many ways in which our ADHD can manifest in our daily lives. Some more than others. Here are 5 of the ways in which I personally experience my ADHD and what I see often in other women I work with.

1.) Low Self Esteem and Imposter Syndrome.

Most women with ADHD, whether diagnosed early on in life or not, have a similar narrative they’ve been running on a loop inside their mind for as long as they can remember. It sounds a little like this, “I talk too much. I’m impulsive. I make bad decisions. I’m stupid. I can’t pay attention. I get bad grades. People don’t like me. I’m not capable of managing time or money …” Sound familiar? And because of this constant negative noise we have very low self esteem, self worth and self love. Because of this low level of self, whatever we want to do we believe we must be a fraud for thinking so. We’ll be found out, made fun of, and not taken seriously in any way. We’ve become an imposter in our own existence and reality.

2.) Frequent Daydreaming and Chronic Overthinking.

A very common misconception about ADHD is that we can’t pay attention. In reality we can pay attention. The “problem” is that we pay attention to too many things all at one time. And so the issue is more in being able to hold our focus on just one thing for an extended period of time. We chronically overthink just about everything. We play out every single possible scenario we can even if its a highly unlikely one. We will analyze everything to death and often decide we have failed at something before we even begin.

3.) Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB).

Not everyone with ADHD will experience BFRB’s but, it has been my experience that a high percentage of us with ADHD also have either depression and or anxiety as well. I, myself have struggled with hair “sifting” and skin picking for as long as I can remember, even as far back as 5 years old. The feeling I get in my body is one of frantic energy with nowhere to go and the picking or pulling or biting is a way to release some of that energy.

4.) Highly Sensitive to Criticism and Rejection.

If I had a buck for every time I felt rejected and criticized I would be a fucking millionaire. Logically, as an adult, well mostly, I know that oftentimes what I am hearing isn’t a criticism. But my emotional brain only hears, “You suck. You’re an Idiot. You don’t know anything. Blah Blah Blah.” It’s just how it is. So now, what I try to do instead of a knee jerk reaction is to ask a knee jerk question. “What I heard you say to me is this. Is that true?” or “Can you say that again? I didn’t quite follow.” Asking a question not only allows us to get clarity but it also buys a pause in time for our brain to make a more rational choice.

5.) Too Emotional and Dramatic.

Emotional Dysregulation is a very specific symptom of ADHD. For a long time is was left out of the diagnostic process but has since been added back in. There is no way to not have emotional dysregulation if you have ADHD. For more about this you can refer to this video. (https://youtu.be/wg6cfsnmqyg?si=I4x7lqqBC2PIEcBu) For myself, having Emotional Dysregulation has been one of, if not the, most challenging part of my ADHD life experience. I’ve lost jobs and relationships. It’s extremely uncomfortable and feels as though you are having an out of body experience. It’s probably the hardest symptom for others to tolerate and the most over looked and dismissed symptom.

Happy ADHD-ing!